Conversation – have we got time not to use it more?

A few months ago I attended one of David Gurteen’s “Knowledge Cafés”. Basically groups of people sit together in various constellations and talk about a subject given to them. After a few minutes the groups will split up, and new ones will form. The subject is the same, but the conversation changes, participants being inspired by previous groups and experiencing how conversation evolves into something truly interesting. There is nothing new in this, really. And yet, the potential of resourceful people talking together without a formal agenda or discussion leader seems to be underrated in our culture. We are busy and keen to get down to business. We don’t have time for conversation, we may think. Perhaps we shy away from small-talk a bit too quickly. Recently I bought a new car. There was good rapport between the dealer and me. We spent half an hour talking about cars, family, technology, politics – I learned a lot about him and the car I was planning to buy. That 30-minute conversation saved me €13,000. Or rather, had I not had that conversation, the price would probably have been €13,000 higher. Can I prove it? Not really. Would I have bought the car anyway? Quite likely. Conversation enabled us to explore and discover new possibilities. I was given insight into his interests; insight generated by a seemingly unstructured chat. Conversation is the key to good relationships and effective negotiating. Conversation does not depend on talent or charm. It can be learned – let’s have more conversation in the future.